I was right! Its him that doesn't want a healthy lifestyle family. Why? Its already hard to workout. Now i found something easy convenient. And he said no. Even food wise is usually heavy. He will ask me uptenth times if i don eat. I really am looking for ways to be more active. But with him not leading a more healthy lifestyle family is going to be difficult. He asked me why am i not wearing my ring. I glared at him and shot that i gained weight!! Im truely hopeless now.

Todays meals and its equivalent...

Breakfast
Fav mac breakfast
cupcorn
491 kcal
Equivalent to 1hr of zumba!

Late lunch
2 eggs sambal 2 wholegrain bread
5 cheezels
1 dove hazelnut
387kcal
Equivalent to 45mins medium aerobics

Dinner
1 wholegrain toast
1 slice cheese
5 teasppon chocolate ice cream
Half cup Coffee
388kcal
Equivalent to 2hrs walking

And the amount of exercise i did for today? ZERO!!

Gotta buy myself a small hardcover food diary

Banning myself from eatjng some kinds of food. No milo, replace with just water. No cheese, replace with cucumber/tomato. No white bread, replace with wholemeal fibre bread. No rice, replace with beans?

No milo
No cheese
No white bread
No rice

Workout jar. Have you heard of it? Interestingly its a monetary reward everytime you exercise. When the jar is full, reward by buying a sports wear or a new exercise gear. Im actually eyeing for this workout ball that i saw. Jar ready. Exercise ready? Timing is the problem actually. Only at home, not when family is around. Impossible to wake wee early mornings
 Hmz whats next?

When i bend sideways, cant help but feeling utterly disgusted of myself. I could feel the folds my fats made when i bend sideways.

I know its impossible to set workout routines. So I'm starting with some ground good habits first and... see how... I mean i just realized how insufficient number of hours of sleep I have. No wonder I'm feeling crappy! And how i eat whenever i feel I've done work with too much mental effort. This usually happens at 1.30pm and again at 3.30pm. So this week im trying knocking out by 9.30pm and packing healthy afternoon snacks!

I'm reminded about how bad I look. My protruding upper arm fat whenever I use long sleeve.  My michealeon tyred tummy that won't work even with girdle panty. My turkey neck double chin. My ballooned thighs that has no friction between them. I was reading this article that tells me to eat junk food naked in front if the mirror. Haven't tried that. But can imagine how bad I look.

I used wake up i n wee mornings just to workout. Also mainly to get away working out when hubby's at home. It gets me tired and insufficient sleep. Working out at night not an option either because he's around. Idk if its a gd idea to get back that routine.

Will sleeping early helps? Im gonna sleep 930 tonight and see if i could wake early tmr to workout

Annoying.  Another reason why i hate workout. When my husband interrupt me. Im just embarrassed of my own self. I just forego it whever he's home.

Was reading on how sports gear could get me motivated. But will it be wastful. I obviously don't need so many shoes. Also i do hv a branded expensive shoe at my gym that i never go to! Should just go and get my shoe. Screw gym. It doesnt work! Boring ever!

Im always annoyed with passerbys with nice dress sense, but damn slim. Also hates passerbys with jiggly tummy fats, and swears not to be like that.

Even working out through this fun app i found pon susah. Maybe i should get meal replacements since i cant seem to push myself to exercise.

Yup. As the title suggests, its impossible! So here's a blog created to help journal my thoughts and feelings. I guess thats what makes it impossible. So here's the first.

As I ate my huge burger, guilt sets in. Oh this is fattening! Sometimes I would take off the top bun. Wise decision? Not if I have my favourite garlic chilli sauce to dip with fries!! Followed by hot fudge sundae! A total of 1000 calories just like that.

I always feel guilty after these kinds of episode, and determine to workout the next day. Does it happen? Nope! Too tired, not enough sleep, work stress.... need comfort food... and the cycle repeats itself.

I know im hving major depression from work, thats what making it impossible.